Posts Tagged ‘movie list’

20 Movies That Destroy New York

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

Stomping all over the city that never sleeps is nothing new. The Big Apple has taken quite a few cinematic hits over the years.

Nicolas Cage’s new movie Knowing is once again putting a fictional New York in the path of destruction.  Being one of the most iconic cities in the world means that Manhattan is ripe for filmmakers looking to make a visceral impact. After all, what could be more gasp-inducing than torching the Empire State Building? Or flooding Grand Central Station? Or stomping all over the Brooklyn Bridge? New York has always been a prime target for disaster, and even after real disasters have toppled some of its towers, filmmakers still can’t stay away.

20. Independence Day (1996)

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Despite some geographical inaccuracy (the Empire State Building does not straddle an North-South street), serial New York–abuser Roland Emmerich certainly makes his point anyway. When the hovering alien spacecraft get the “go” sign, Gregory Johnson’s iconic design gets lit up like a Roman candle, and Manhattan learns the hard way that not all tourists want to pose for pictures in Times Square and catch a matinee of Legally Blonde.

19. The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

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Emmerich again. This time, severe changes in the Earth’s climate cause New York to get flooded like a cheap Chevy, and then frozen solid. Why this also causes giant werewolves to appear is cause for debate (we choose the “bad CGI” argument), but this was one circumstance where New Yorkers actually would have preferred the snow turn to a slushy gray muck like it usually does ten seconds after a blizzard.

18. Godzilla (1998)

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OK, Emmerich, we get it. You like to see New York decimated. Fine. This time, the German director unleashes a giant lizard in the city so nice they named it twice, and a great many recognizable landmarks suffer as a result. We’re not sure if that ending. Godzilla is finally stopped by the criss-crossing cables of the Brooklyn Bridge was meant to be a subtle joke for Manhattanites who equate moving to Brooklyn with death, but we like to think it is, anyway.

17. Men in Black II (2002)

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To think, the MIBs spend so much time covering their tracks and erasing memories and yet, if you told the average N.Y. commuter that giant, subway-car-sized space slugs lived in the tunnels, they probably wouldn’t bat an eye. They have seen far more disturbing things inside a subway car. MIB2 is relatively gentle on the big city, though, and even its predecessor saved most of its destructiveness for Queens where, let’s be honest, no one’s really going to notice.

16. Superman II (1980)

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When Tim Burton made Batman’s Gotham City, he made it so that it didn’t resemble any other city the audience knew of (well, maybe some areas of Berlin). Richard Donner, however, wanted people to buy his location as “Metropolis” even though THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING is sticking up right in the middle of midtown. That’s like painting wings on an elephant and calling it an eagle. When Supes throws down with General Zod and his flunkies, there’s no mistaking that it’s Times Square feeling the brunt of the super-fisticuffs.

15. Q (1982)

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It’s an old New York joke that you can tell who the tourists are because they are the only ones looking up. New Yorkers don’t need to gawk at their skyscrapers, making Q’s conceit that a giant winged serpent could nest atop the Empire State Building without anyone noticing until it starts eating people utterly believable. Hindered by 1982 special effects, the movie opts for “mystery” over large-scale carnage, but thinking of monumental buildings as home to man-eating monstrosities is disturbing enough.

14. When Worlds Collide (1951)

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Before Roland Emmerich got the notion to turn Manhattan’s cavernous streets into a log flume, legendary sci-fi producer George Pal busted out the miniatures and the garden hose in When Worlds Collide. The tale of a rogue planet on a collision course with Earth (see? The title isn’t a metaphor), the end is not a pleasant one for New York. It gets flooded with enough seawater to drown everything save the cockroaches.

13. Deep Impact (1998)

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Before Roland Emmerich got the notion to turn Manhattan’s cavernous streets into a log flume, but after George Pal did the exact same thing, director Mimi Leder…aw, forget it. Meteor. Hits earth. New York floods. Let’s move on.

12. The Warriors (1979)

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Not all destruction has to be an extinction-level event. In The Warriors, the Big Apple is rotting from the inside — the generally good, hard-working, no-nonsense New Yorkers who are the city’s heart and soul have been chased to the periphery and replaced by elaborately-dressed and ultra-violent gangs. These clown-faced crooks have the run of the entire island (and the surrounding boroughs), and civilians are hardly seen at all, which leads to the chilling conclusion that unless you pick a clan, you’re pretty much a walking ghost.

11. Planet of the Apes (1968)

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After all the hunting, capturing, escaping, and laying on of stinking paws, Charlton Heston wanders down a desolate stretch of beach to discover…the Statue of Liberty! All this time, he’s been among ape-men who have built a civilization on the ruins of what was once New York. Well, OK, it could have been New Jersey. But still — we blew it up! Damn us all to hell!

10. Escape from New York (1981)

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In John Carpenter’s dystopian thriller, New York’s crime rate gets so uncontrollably bad the U.S. government decides to simply wall it up and let it exist as a giant prison. While this scenario doesn’t look too kindly on New York, the film’s production doesn’t look too kindly on another city: East St. Louis. Unable to find a N.Y. location suitably burned-out, run-down, and pathetic enough to convince as a city-prison, Carpenter had to film nearly all of Escape’s exteriors in the sad sack Illinois city.

9. The Siege (1998)

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Taking a much more grounded tact that some of the other films listed here, The Siege preyed on our worst real life fears — rampant terror attacks in major cities — several years before 9/11, and showed us a devastated Manhattan under martial law. It kind of makes giant lizards and supervillains seem kind of cozy and safe, doesn’t it?

8. 2019: After the Fall of New York (1983)

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An Italian cheapie knock-off of Escape from New York, 2019 envisions a nuclear-decimated New York inhabited by radioactive freaks and monsters. Luckily for the filmmakers, the “post-apocalypse” setting allowed for much of the action to take place in nondescript parking lots and empty patched of desert, rather than, say, having to hire the manpower to shut down large portions of Fifth Avenue. All the saved money is on the screen, folks.

7. Ghostbusters (1984)/Ghostbusters 2 (1989)

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Look, having the world’s only paranormal janitors based in Tribeca is bound to bring some undesirables into your neighborhood. First, large sections of the Upper West Side get stomped on (and ultimately covered in charred marshmallow), then a river of slime underneath the city streets conjure up a vengeful spirit from the past. The Ghostbusters‘ means of disposal may not be tidy — they wreck as much of Manhattan as the ghoulies — but at least they do something. Nobody steps on a church in their town.

6. Armageddon (1998)

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Michael Bay might have gone the hackneyed “New York landmark destruction” route, but give him some credit for at least picking two slightly lesser-used landmarks. In illustrating a meteor showers’ path of destruction, Bay shows the Chrysler Building and Grand Central Station getting torn apart by hunks of space rock in addition to several taxi cabs near a “53rd Street Station,” which is in that trendy N.Y. neighborhood known as “Obvious Studio Backlot.”

5. King Kong (2005)

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Forget Mel Brooks, a thousand chorus dancers, or a Stephen Sondheim song — remember the simple days when all you needed to open on Broadway was a big ape in chains? Once Kong got out, however, things go very bad for 1930s Times Square. Cars are thrown, buildings crushed, and Central Park’s frozen ponds subject to inhuman levels of sentimentality. The Empire State Building, despite being the location for the final showdown, gets by with a few dings and scratches. The streets below, however…

4. A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (2001)

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Like Emmerich’s The Day After Tomorrow, the Earth’s fragile ecosystem is to blame for New York’s eventual flooding and destruction — but unlike Emmerich, Steven Spielberg only shows us the aftermath, not the disaster. And like Planet of the Apes, the Statue of Liberty is used as the chilling reminder of what once was (her torch barely peaking out above sea level is eerie in much the same way her beach-logged torso was in Apes).

3. War of the Worlds (2005)

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Perhaps realizing he missed an opportunity with A.I., Spielberg made up for it by piling on the N.Y. decimation in his remake of War of the Worlds. From the vantage point of Bayonne, New Jersey, we see bridges twisting like licorice and entire swaths of the city getting ripped apart. The entire Eastern seaboard feels the brunt of the alien attack, so for once New York isn’t unfairly singled out for termination.

2. I Am Legend (2007)

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There is nothing more chilling than the sight of a New York City completely devoid of people. It’s somehow more unnatural and more disturbing than an alien invasion, giant meteor, or epic tsunami. People surrender their desire for piece and quiet the minute they sign the rental agreement on a N.Y. apartment, so the idea that there could be more vegetation than people on Fifth Avenue is tough to swallow. New Yorkers being wholesale turned into vampires isn’t any easier.

1. Sex and the City: The Movie (2008)

1-sex-and-city-movieWithout a doubt, the combined forces of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda have been more devastating to life in New York than anything dreamed up by Roland Emmerich or Michael Bay. As a cable series, Sex turned New York’s way of life upside down — convincing millions of Midwest dreamers that they could afford a one-bedroom Manhattan apartment by writing a single newspaper column every four months, that they could subsist entirely on Cosmos and pastries, and that they would magically have enough free time and disposable income to lunch with the girls in between Manolo Blahnik shopping sprees. Utterly devastating.

from: premiere.com

11 Identical Movies Released at the Same Time

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

I just read an article that there’s another mall cop movie coming out. It’s called “Observe and Report” and it’s the “edgier” take on the mall cop genre, with Seth Rogan handling the lead role that Kevin James just rode to absolutely shocking commercial success in “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”.

Well… this got my friends and me thinking about other basically identical movies that came at basically identical times. And, without too much trouble, I was able to find 11 cases of shockingly similar movies that were released within months of each other.

Here are comparisons of each of those sets of movies. In each breakdown, I reference the Rotten Tomatoes score — if you’re unfamiliar, Rotten Tomatoes is a site that aggregates all the reviews for a movie and gives the movie a score based on what percentage of the reviews are positive.

  • “Deep Impact” (May 8, 1998) and “Armageddon” (July 1, 1998)

deep-impact-armageddonTwo movies about large space objects (a comet and asteroid, respectively) hurtling toward Earth and a small group of heroic astronauts, seemingly average people and government officials uniting to save mankind before it’s too late.

Critical success. “Deep Impact” got a 46 percent on Rotten Tomatoes (which was a pretty good score for a ’90s blockbuster). “Armageddon” got a 40 percent on Rotten Tomatoes; James Sanford of James Sanford on Film said, “Breathless and utterly brainless… makes the similarly-themed and much more sentimental ‘Deep Impact’ look like ‘Schindler’s List’ by comparison.”

Commercial success. “Deep Impact” had less hype and made less money, $140.5 million to “Armageddon’s” $201.6 million.

Biggest difference. In “Deep Impact” part of the comet actually hits Earth. In “Armageddon” Bruce Willis’s martyr-ific sacrifice atop the asteroid totally saves the day.

Winner? “Deep Impact” was a better movie (ask a lot of people — they’ll tell you that “Deep Impact” made them cry), but “Armageddon” did better in the moment and has seemingly held the mantle for shit-hitting-Earth films ever since.

I blame that damn Aerosmith song… the version where in between Steven Tyler wailing about not wanting to close his eyes or go to sleep there’s voiceover of Ben Affleck talking about animal crackers.

  • “Chasing Liberty” (January 9, 2004) and “First Daughter” (September 24, 2004)

chasing-liberty-first-daughterTwo movies about the 18-year-old daughter of the President of the United States (Mandy Moore and Katie Holmes, respectively) becoming so frustrated with her constant protection and her presidential father’s over-protectiveness that she can’t take it any more and decides to rebel… right into the arms of a tall, handsome gentleman. But that gentleman has a secret (in BOTH EFFING CASES, he’s an undercover secret service agent), and the first daughter is about to get more than she bargained for.

Critical success. “Chasing Liberty” pulled in only 19 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. But “First Daughter” was way cheesier and did even worse, at a remarkable NINE percent.

Commercial success. “Chasing Liberty” made $12.2 million (and cost $23 million to make). “First Daughter” made even less, at $9.1 million (and cost $30 million to make).

Biggest difference. As my friend Adam put it, “‘Chasing Liberty’ is like taking the plot of ‘First Daughter’ and the plot of ‘Eurotrip’ and mashing them together.” Also, for some reason, in “Chasing Liberty”, they threw in a huge subplot about Jeremy Piven (as a secret service agent) falling in love with another secret service agent.

Winner? I guess it’s “Chasing Liberty” by every measure — although it’s more like “Chasing Liberty” sucked slightly less than “First Daughter”… not “Chasing Liberty” was a better film than “First Daughter”.

  • “The Illusionist” (September 1, 2006) and “The Prestige” (October 20, 2006)

illusionist-prestigeTwo critically-acclaimed period pieces, set in Europe, that explore the world of seemingly-supernatural magic and it’s role in life-or-death rivalries.

Critical success. “The Illusionist” got a 74 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and an Oscar nomination for best cinematography. “The Prestige” got a 75 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and two Oscar nominations — one for art direction, one for cinematography. (Both lost the cinematography category to “Pan’s Labyrinth” by the way.)

Commercial success. “The Illusionist” made $39.8 million, “The Prestige” made $53 million, so neither was any kind of real huge box office success.

Biggest difference. While both seem to feature supernatural magic, only “The Prestige” actually does — when Hugh Jackman’s magician character meets Nikola Tesla (played by David Bowie) and uses a machine he created to do actual teleportation. (Or, at least, matter replication. Or something. I was half-asleep when I watched both of these.)

Winner? I saw both of these movies about two years ago and the only one that really stuck with me was “The Prestige”… I remembered the twist, the magic and the whole strange Tesla angle. Also, “The Illusionist” is one of those films from the phoning-it-in period of Ed Norton’s career.

  • “Antz” (October 2, 1998) and “A Bug’s Life” (November 25, 1998)

antz-bugs-lifeTwo computer-animated films about ant colonies… specifically one seemingly-generic ant who has more heroism inside of him than anyone every could’ve imagined… and who, over the course of the movie, leaves the colony, channels his heroics into defeating other insect enemies (termites, caterpillers, evil ants), and, ultimately, is responsible for the betterment of the colony as a whole.

Critical success. “Antz” was a huge critical success — 95 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. “A Bug’s Life” did almost as well, at 91 percent… and got one Oscar nomination, for best original music.

Commercial success. “Antz” brought in $90.6 million for Dreamworks… “A Bug’s Life” rode the Disney/Pixar machine to whoop it, with $162.8 million.

Biggest difference. The plots of the movie, outside of being set against ant colony backdrops and featuring unlikely everyman heroes, are fairly different. “Antz” has a whole communism/democracy angle and a crazy love story… “A Bug’s Life” is kinda like an animated “Three Amigos”. Winner? “A Bug’s Life” had more success but, like the “Deep Impact”/”Armageddon” battle, I really think “Antz” was a smarter, better movie.

  • “The Truman Show” (June 5, 1998) and “EdTV” (March 26, 1999)

truman-show-edtvTwo movies that show both the upsides and downsides of having cameras broadcasting your every move to millions of captivated Americans. Can any relationship be real? Can you really fall in love? And ultimately, just how far would you go to get away from the cameras and get the sweet, sweet freedom of privacy?

Critical success. “The Truman Show” — which is probably Jim Carrey’s best dramatic role ever (with apologies to my friend Steve who, for some reason, is obsessed with “The Majestic”) — got a 95 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. It also got three Oscar nominations (including best original screenplay and best director); and both Jim Carrey and Ed Harris won Golden Globes for their acting.

“EdTV” did significantly worse, with a 63 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and its only award nod being a 1999 Teen Choice Award nomination for sexiest love scene (between Elizabeth Hurley and Matthew McConaughey). And they ended up losing to Freddie Prinze Jr. and Rachael Leigh Cook in “She’s All That”… which, best I can recall, never escalated beyond a kiss in the backyard. So… yikes.

Commercial success. “Truman Show” did better than I would’ve guessed, making $125.6 million. “EdTV” did worse than I expected, making $22.4 million.

Biggest difference. There’s a fundamental plot difference between the two movies — in “Truman Show”, Jim Carrey is born into the reality show and doesn’t know he’s part of a show; in “EdTV”, Matthew McConaughey chooses to sign up for the reality show, not realizing the potential downside.

Beyond that, the movies have seriously different gravitas — “EdTV” is an entertaining little movie that never makes you to nervous or unsettled because you know, ultimately, the character will be ok. “Truman Show” can actually send you spiraling into an existential crisis and eff up your mind.

Winner? “Truman Show” easily won every battle. Since it’s the few weeks of the year right now where people watch college basketball, I’ll put this into March Madness terms. While it’s not a one seed versus 16 squash (“EdTV” isn’t THAT bad)… it’s like a two seed versus a 15. And “Truman Show” is no Arizona.

  • “Saving Private Ryan” (July 24, 1998) and “The Thin Red Line” (January 15, 1999)

saving-private-ryan-thin-red-lineTwo World War Two epics featuring a man surprisingly thrust into the role of heroism in a fool’s errand… and his ultimate bravery and sacrifice to fulfill that errand, defeat America’s enemies in a smaller battle, and serve as a metaphor for the humanity it took to win the war.

Critical success. “Saving Private Ryan” got a 94 percent on Rotten Tomatoes — and, of course, got 11 Oscar nominations and won five (but lost Best Picture to “Shakespeare In Love”). The critics liked “The Thin Red Line” but not as much, at 78 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. It also got a lot of Oscar nominations — seven, believe it or not, including one for Best Picture — but it lost all seven.

Commercial success. “Saving Private Ryan” made a freaking fortune, at $216.1 million. “The Thin Red Line” made one-SIXTH of that, at $36.4 million.

Winner? There’s no way to possible pick “Thin Red Line”… “Saving Private Ryan” was a better movie, made more money, had a better response AND inspired a better porn knockoff title. “Shaving Ryan’s Privates” is a classic title. Did “The Thin Red Line” even inspire a porn movie?

  • “Mission to Mars” (March 10, 2000) and “Red Planet” (November 10, 2000)

mission-mars-red-planetTwo futuristic movies about manned missions to Mars after some strange developments arise regarding the potential for life on the planet. The all male with one female crews crash on Mars, sustain deaths as they travel across the planet, find sources of oxygen and make shocking discoveries regarding unexpected life on Mars.

Critical success. Both movies were pretty widely panned — “Mission to Mars” got a 23 percent on Rotten Tomatoes; “Red Planet” did even worse, with 13 percent.

Commercial success. “Mission to Mars” lost about $30 million — its budget was $90 million and it took in $60.8 million. “Red Planet” lost almost twice as much — its budget was $75 million and it took in $17.5 million. Overall, that means, in the year 2000, Hollywood had $165 million invested in Mars movies and America responded by paying less than half of that to watch them.

Biggest difference. The life on Mars. (Wow, I could make my second David Bowie reference of this list here. Homeboy is everywhere today!) In “Mission to Mars” it’s an actual martian, in “Red Planet” it’s blood- and algae-hungry insects. Oh… um… spoiler alert. Sorry. I’m guessing if you haven’t seen either of these in the past nine years you’re not going to start now. Plus, since these movies are so interchangeable, when you do watch you’ll forget which film features which life form, guaranteed.

Winner? It’s a real push here. I’ll go with “Mission to Mars” as a slightly better film because “Red Planet” gets way too deep up its own ass trying to wedge a huge philosophical/religious/spiritual debate angle into what should just be a disposable blockbuster-type movie.

  • “Iron Eagle” (January 17, 1986) and “Top Gun” (May 16, 1986)

iron-eagle-top-gun Two movies about young hotshots with incredible, innate fighter pilot skills (partially thanks to their fighter pilot dads) fighting incredible odds and challenges to take down enemy planes, avenge the deaths of those close to them, and realize their own fighter pilot destinies in the name of their fathers.

Critical success. “Iron Eagle” has one of the most ridiculous plots ever — a high school student, his buddies and a retired pilot steal Air Force fighters and successfully take on the entire fleet of an unnamed EVIL Muslim country. “Top Gun” isn’t un-ridiculous… but it might — might — just be slightly more grounded in realism. Neither is available on Rotten Tomatoes (it doesn’t go back that far)… but I’d be willing to bet a lot of money that “Top Gun” got a better reception than “Iron Eagle”.

Commercial success. “Iron Eagle” made just $24 million during its brief time in theaters. “Top Gun” did exponentially better than that, making $176 million.

Biggest difference. Other than the basics I laid out at the top of this point, these movies are fairly different. To me, what stands out is how they view the military: “Top Gun” glamorized it, “Iron Eagle” made the Air Force look like bumbling, bureaucratic amateurs. “Top Gun” ended up increasing Air Force and Navy recruiting numbers; “Iron Eagle”… well… I don’t think it was influential either way.

Winner? It’s weird. By every quantitative measure it’d have to be “Top Gun”. Except that I haven’t watched either movie in at least a decade and, after writing this, all I want to do is watch “Iron Eagle” again. It’s such a great ’80s movie, such escapism, such a male fantasy. So I’m not willing to declare a winner. You can do that if you’d like.


  • “Dante’s Peak” (February 7, 1997) and “Volcano” (April 25, 1997)

dantes-peak-volcanoAn experienced but troubled hero is responsible for pulling a city, a love interest and at least one child out of trouble when an impending volcanic eruption threatens to destroy that city. Both are able to at least somewhat minimize the damage of the eruption and save lives in the face of doubting and difficult bureaucrats, although many casualties are claimed along the way… and both volcanoes [is that really how it's spelled?] are deemed ongoing, active threats at the end of the movies.

Critical success. “Dante’s Peak” didn’t do particularly well on Rotten Tomatoes, at just 32 percent. “Volcano” did a bit better, at 42 percent.

Commercial success. “Dante’s Peak” ended up making $67.2 million (and cost more than $100 million to make). “Volcano” only made $47.5 million (and cost more than $90 million to make). So both pretty much flopped.

Biggest difference. Easy. “Dante’s Peak” takes place in a small town in Washington… “Volcano” takes out the freaking city of Los Angeles when a volcano springs up out of the La Brea Tar Pits.

Winner? The spectacle of “Volcano” is much greater… lava tearing up L.A. is pretty stunning. But “Dante’s Peak” always feels like a better movie. It’s also more memorable… strangely enough, because it’s title is unique. Naming a movie “Volcano” is so lame. I hate when movies have titles like that. Things like “Push” or “Go!” or “Someone Like You”. Generic-ass bullshit.

That rant sure came out of nowhere. Perhaps I’ve started going insane as I’m now going on like hour five of writing this list.

  • “Tombstone” (December 25, 1993) and “Wyatt Earp” (June 24, 1994)

tombstone-wyatt-earpTwo fictionalized biopics about Wyatt Earp. Both focus on his family and romantic relationships, his friendship with Doc Holliday, the battle at the O.K. Corral and his vendetta against the Cowboys.

Critical success. “Tombstone” was a pretty badass movie — I remember watching it in the theater at age 14 and recognizing that — and the critics liked it too. It got a 79 percent at Rotten Tomatoes. “Wyatt Earp” was a 191-minute “Waterworld”-era Kevin Costner movie that only got a 42 percent.

Commercial success. “Tombstone” made $56.5 million at the box office (and cost $25 million to make); “Wyatt Earp” made $25.1 million (and cost $63 million to make).

Biggest difference. “Wyatt Earp” spends a LONG time focusing on Earp’s back story and youth and all the boring shit in his life and somehow, in 191 minutes, can’t find time for more than a montage of his Vengence Ride. “Tombstone” only focuses on the highlights — the O.K. Corral and the aftermath.

Basically, “Wyatt Earp” would be like making a Michael Jordan biopic and focusing on his elementary school years, some of his time at UNC, the loss to the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals… then doing a montage of his six championships… and ending the movie squarely focused on his two seasons with the Wizards or the time he drafted Kwame Brown. And having the role of Michael Jordan played by Kevin Costner.

Winner? In the biggest landslide on this list, “Tombstone”.

  • “DeepStar Six” (January 13, 1989); “Leviathan” (March 17, 1989); and “The Abyss” (August 9, 1989)

deepstar-six-leviathan-abyss

  1. A group of people on an underwater mission encounter dangerous, unidentified creatures that put their lives in serious peril, changing their mission to “survive!” (I tried to write that one in my corniest, most Leonard Maltin-ish way yet. Couldn’t help myself. Again, I’ve been working on this list longer than I ever thought.)Critical success. “The Abyss” did really well — with the highest budget, best effects and best writing, it got 82 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. It also got four Oscar nominations. “Leviathan” didn’t do even CLOSE to that well, at just 11 percent. As for “Deepstar Six”… well, Rotten Tomatoes only has six aggregated reviews for it and they’re all negative… so that’s a big fat zero percent.Commercial success. “Deepstar Six” made $8 million. “Leviathan” made $15.7 million. “The Abyss” made $54.2 million… a lot more than the others… but still about $15 million less than its budget.

    Biggest difference. This one’s easy: In “The Abyss”, the creatures aren’t evil. In fact, they save Ed Harris’s life. In the other movies, they’re straight bad.

    Winner? The amazing thing about the 1989 battle of underwater creature movies is that these weren’t the only three. They’re the most high-profile but two other underwater man-versus-creature movies were released that year too: “Evil Below” and “Lords of the Deep”.

    Still, of all five, odds are, “The Abyss” is the only one you’ve heard of… and it was the only one that made any real money or had any real success. So it definitely won the battle. And also helped launch James Cameron’s future successful trips back to the water (like “Titanic”) and less successful ones (his Joaquin Phoenix-esque meltdown that led him to quite making real movies and only shoot 3-D underwater IMAX films for several years).

Honorable mention goes out to “Capote” and “Infamous”; “Alexander” and “Troy”; “Prefontaine” and “Without Limits”; “Madagascar” and “The Wild”; and “1492: Conquest of Paradise” and “Christopher Columbus: The Discovery”.

And if I’m ever masochistic enough to do this enough for TV shows, I promise I’ll lead off with “Supernanny” and “Nanny 911″.

Via: 11points.com

Top 10 Girls Kissing Scenes

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

In Woody Allen’s film Vicky Cristina Barcelona, virtually everyone locks lips in order to slip each other the tongue. It just so happens that in the rush to French-kiss, Allen’s woody compelled the aging director to script a kiss between two of Hollywood’s most voluptuous and nubile starlets: Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz.
Although the kiss between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz will no doubt have men popping wood around the globe, it would be premature to include their salacious kiss on this list of chicks kissing scenes. For the time being, however, we will confine ourselves to films that have been released, as we count down the 10 most erotic chicks kissing scenes. Keep in mind that these are film scenes, and we haven’t considered any pornography or erotica.

No.10 - Head in the Clouds (2004)

Penelope Cruz & Charlize Theron

Set in 1930s Europe, Head in the Clouds is a British/Canadian melodrama about the choices young lovers make when surrounded by political unrest. With the Spanish Civil War as the political backdrop, two passionate women (Penelope Cruz and Charlize Theron) find themselves living with a guy named Guy in Paris. One night, with Guy looking on and the ladies casually dressed in silk negligees, the ladies begin drunkenly consoling each other on the living room davenport. Soon enough, straps are sliding off shoulders, tears are streaming down powdered cheeks and the ladies are all over each other. It is a quick scene that ends after Theron’s character bites Cruz’s lip and the two are left with blood dripping from their lips.

No.9 - Chasing Amy (1997)

Joey Lauren Adams

The script for Kevin Smith’s third film, Chasing Amy, was inspired by his relationship with Joey Lauren Adams, who stars in the film as Alyssa Jones, a bisexual who Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) can’t help but chase. The film is full of frank sexual banter, but from our chicks kissing point of view, the highlight occurs after Alyssa performs a song for her true love who, much to Holden’s shock and chagrin, turns out to be some random platinum-blonde dyke. The two ladies then proceed to suck face for the next few scenes, while Holden looks on in disbelief, and his buddy Banky (Jason Lee) applauds the hotness of finding himself in a dyke bar surrounded by girls who like girls.

No.8 - Bitter Moon (1992)

Emmanuelle Seigner & Kristin Scott Thomas

In Roman Polanski’s ultra-kinky film Bitter Moon, Fiona (Kristin Scott Thomas) and Nigel (Hugh Grant) play a straight-laced and repressed British couple whose conservative relationship is thrown overboard while on a cruise ship. The catalyst for the change is their encounter with Mimi (played by Emmanuelle Seigner) and Oscar, whose sadistic sexual past is the polar opposite of Fiona and Nigel’s. However, when Mimi, a seductive French woman, pulls the sexually unfulfilled Fiona onto the dance floor of a rocking ship, the two women lock hips and then lock lips. And as the scene ends, the ladies stroll past their respective husbands toward a cabin down below.

No.7 - Higher Learning (1995)

Jennifer Connelly & Kristy Swanson

Higher Learning is about the personal, the political and the racial. However, if we ignore the dramatic dilemmas facing the cast of university freshmen, we can focus on the sexual awakening that blossoms between Kristen (Kristy Swanson) and Taryn (Jennifer Connelly). While both are working for a women’s group, the girls discover that they may just be pitching for the other team, and so they kiss to seal the deal, and then retire to their dorm where they strip down to their panties and roll around in bed.

No.6 - Cruel Intentions (1999)

Selma Blair & Sarah Michelle Gellar

The famous kiss in Cruel Intentions is a lips-and-tongue close-up that leaves the naive Cecile (Selma Blair) wanting more. The trouble is, her high-society coach is Kathryn Merteuil (Sarah Michelle Gellar), a wealthy society girl who is only teaching Cecile how to kiss so that she will sleep around enough to damage her reputation. What better fodder could there be for a chicks kissing scene than a manipulative bitch and an innocent fox who’s as easy to mold as Silly Putty?

No.5 - Gia (1998)

Angelina Jolie & Elizabeth Mitchell

Gia is an HBO film that documented the rise and fall of Gia Carangi, one of America’s first supermodels. Angelina Jolie plays the voluptuous Gia, a tough and reckless woman from Philly who ventures to New York, willing to do whatever it takes to rise to the top of the modeling industry. It’s during her rise that Gia meets Linda (Elizabeth Mitchell), and the depiction of their steamy relationship is full of taut skin, luscious lips and licking tongues. Sadly, Gia also spent a fair bit of time shooting heroin, from which she contracted HIV and died by the time she was 26.

No.4 - The Hunger (1983)

Susan Sarandon & Catherine Deneuve

The Hunger is actually something of a horror flick based on the bizarre love triangle that emerges between a doctor (Susan Sarandon) and a chic vampire couple (David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve). Bowie’s character is John, who visits the doctor when he begins an accelerated aging process. The good doctor, intrigued by her patient’s unique symptoms, decides to visit John at his home where she is greeted by Myriam (Deneuve). Naturally, Myriam hungers for Dr. Sarah Roberts’ healthy blood. After a martini, a little small talk and some elegant shots of the two women, Sarandon wets her thin white T-shirt when she spills her drink over her breast, leading erotically to tender kisses on the good doctor’s lips and then all over her goose-bumped body. Finally, when the fatal bite comes, it is just as tender, as blood drips from Deneuve’s lips and appetizingly down Sarandon’s leg.

No.3 - Bound (1996)

Jennifer Tilly & Gina Gershon

Before the Wachowski brothers hit the jackpot with the Matrix trilogy, they released Bound, a neo-noir crime thriller that features one of cinema’s hottest chicks kissing scenes. The plot begins with the squeaky-voiced Violet (Jennifer Tilly) on the hunt for a way out of her relationship with her mob boyfriend. Enter ex-con Corky (Gina Gershon), a bull-dyke who happens to move in next door and is then commissioned to do some plumbing for the unhappy couple. Violet, desperate to get her own pipes running properly, sets out to seduce Corky and what a job she does. Dressed in black lingerie with cleavage that begs to be touched, she talks dirty, rubs the tattoo on her breast and then when Corky starts touching her, Violet pants and moans like a female tennis player. Finally, with Corky’s hand pressed firmly up her skirt, Violet pleads for a kiss.

No.2 - Wild Things (1998)

Denise Richards & Neve Campbell

Wild Things is downright ridiculous. Although it could be described as an erotic crime thriller, the plot is entirely too frivolous to call it anything other than first-rate eye candy. So when Suzie and Kelly (Neve Campbell and Denise Richards) find themselves in bikinis near the pool, we shouldn’t be surprised when a catfight breaks out and the girls finish in the pool where they kiss each other better. After all, the plot is only window dressing and an excuse for showing off the luscious curves of the two leading ladies.

No.1 - Mulholland Dr. (2001)

Naomi Watts & Laura Harring

David Lynch is an erotic filmmaker. In the old-school Greek sense of eros, Lynch withholds and conceals, teasing his audience with possibility rather than gratifying us with fulfillment. So, when it comes to filming the sexually erotic, Lynch knows how to build a seductive mood, leaving his audience on the verge, lusting for more.

In Mulholland Dr., Naomi Watts plays a naive blonde who’s desperate for Hollywood success, while Laura Harring is an amnesiac who can’t recall whether she’s ever made love with a woman. In a sense, the scene captures the allure of self-discovery by bringing the innocent blonde and the innocent brunette together. It’s like Betty and Veronica coming of age by choosing each other over that freckled loser Archie.

10 Classic Films That Would Be Better With Zombies

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

Publisher Quirk Books and author Seth Grahame-Smith have come up with the best way to make a literary work more accessible since the creation of Classics Illustrated comic books: they’ve added “all-new scenes of bone crunching zombie action” to Jane Austen’s 19th century novel Pride and Prejudice. This new version, out in stores this May, is titled Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now With Ultraviolent Mayhem! And if you didn’t think it was a masterpiece before, chances are you will now.

Could we do the same thing to classic films? Well, the technology to add extraneous enhancements to movies exists. Just check out The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for proof. But like Pride and Prejudice, we’d need to “enhance” films in the public domain if we wanted to get away with it. Fortunately, there are hundreds of such titles (see a list at Wikipedia), some of which actually already have zombies (Night of the Living Dead, White Zombie, Revolt of the Zombies, and in a way the “scientific” film Experiments in the Revival of Organisms).

Avoiding the majority of public domain movies already consisting of horror and science fiction elements, we’ve come up with ten great classic films that would be even greater with the addition of zombies.


potemkinmarchBattleship Potemkin (Sergei Eisenstin, 1925)

New title: Mutinous Zombies of the Battleship Potemkin

Synopsis: A Soviet cinema masterpiece, Eisenstein’s film depicts the 1905 uprising of zombies on the titular vessel against the oppressive officers of the Tsarist regime. It begins when soldiers aboard the Potemkin are forced to eat rotten, maggot-infested meat, which turns the men into mutinous zombies. Later, the city of Odessa becomes overwhelmed with undead citizens and the Tsarist military is sent in to massacre them. In the end, though, even the soldiers are converted. Other Eisenstein films, particularly October, may also appropriately receive similar special zombie editions.


zombie-keatonThe General (Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton, 1927)

New title: The General and the Zombies

Synopsis: Buster Keaton’s greatest silent blockbuster is kind of like the Shaun of the Dead of its time. The film begins with Keaton’s character losing his girlfriend due to his inability to prove he’s not a coward and a bum, but then by happenstance he ends up a hero and, most importantly, salvages his relationship in the process. In this special edition, Johnnie Gray still has to rescue his train (and his girlfriend) from the Union army, but now those Northern spies are zombies. Like the title character in Shaun of the Dead, Johnnie must in one new scene impersonate a zombie in order to fool them. The stone-faced Keaton is a natural for this masquerade, but of course then soldiers on his side mistake him for being a Union zombie, with hilarious consequences.


abe-lincoln-zombie-hunterAbraham Lincoln (D.W. Griffith, 1930)

New title: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

Synopsis: Griffith’s biopic about the 16th President of the United States was filled with historical inaccuracies when first released almost 80 years ago. The main complaint? Griffith left out Lincoln’s triumphant one-man battle against a Confederate brigade made up completely of zombie soldiers (yep, the South had them, too). Now, in a special edition release timed to coincide with Honest Abe’s 200th birthday, scenes depicting that battle, as well as a new ending, in which Lincoln recommends the enslavement of zombies, because they are not technically men and therefore are not guaranteed Constitutional freedom, are included. Also, on the DVD: a bonus behind-the-scenes supplement featuring a still-undead Lincoln zombie overseeing the restoration; an exclusive look at Lincoln’s famous stovepipe hat, which he wore to keep zombies from getting at his brains. (The above image of Abe Lincoln, Zombie Hunter is from this t-shirt.)


marx-brothers-at-the-circusAt the Circus (Edward Buzzell, 1939)

New title: At the Zombie Circus

Synopsis: The Marx Brothers’ films were crazy enough without the addition of zombies, but this late episode from Groucho, Harpo and Chico just wasn’t anarchic enough for their fans. So, now the plot involving the stolen money has been eliminated and the film consists of the three Marx boys trying to stay alive inside a circus tent filled with zombies. There’s a strong man zombie, a dwarf zombie, and then there’s Margaret Dumont, who is so dull Groucho thinks she’s a zombie. Or maybe he just stabs her in the brain for fun?


his-girll-friday-bellamyHis Girl Friday (Howard Hawks, 1940)

New title: His Girl Zombie

Synopsis: Despite the new title, Rosalind Russell is never turned into a zombie. Rather, the zombies are merely in the background, causing even more fast-paced hysterics (yes, they’re the quick sort of zombies that are all the “rage” these days). Actually, at one point Ralph Bellamy’s character is thought to be a zombie, but then it’s realized that as much as he appears to be the walking dead, he’s just too slow to be one of the zombies running around outside the courthouse. Again, His Girl Zombie has something in common with Shaun of the Dead (not to mention Twister), in that it’s another story in which a couple attempts to separate but is thrust back together during a chaotic event.

john-wayne-and-zombies1Angel and the Badman (James Edward Grant, 1947)

New title: Angel and the Badman and the Zombies

Synopsis: In this early precursor to the ‘80s Harrison Ford classic Witness Zombies, John Wayne plays a shootist and womanizer who is wounded near a Quaker family home. Brought in and nursed back to health, he attempts to tame himself after falling for a young Quaker woman. But his desire to become a pacifist is made difficult when brain-hungry zombies attack the house, and he must choose to either commit himself to the Quaker ways and “die” with his new religious society of friends, or go out and kick some zombie ass.


doa-stillD.O.A. (Rudolph Mate, 1950)

New title: Z.O.A.

Synopsis: The film begins with Frank Bigelow, filmed from behind, entering a police station to report that he’s been murdered. The reason he is able to do this is not because he’s not yet died from the poison; it’s because he is a zombie, which we finally discover when the camera finally shows us his face. The film then goes to flashback and details the events that lead to Bigelow’s zombification. After the back-story is complete, the film returns to the scene in the police station, where cops proceed to shoot Bigelow in the head. His file is then marked “Z.O.A.,” meaning “zombie on arrival.”


astaire-royal-weddingRoyal Wedding (Stanley Donen, 1951)

New title: Zombie Wedding

Synopsis: Fred Astaire and Jane Powell star as a brother and sister song and dance duo in this musical classic, which features two of Astaire’s most famous scenes. “Zombie Jumps” has him dancing first with a coat rack, then with a corpse, Weekend at Bernie’s-style. The latter of these objects ends up coming to life, a metaphor for Astaire’s famous ability to animate the inanimate. In “You’re All Zombies to Me,” Astaire playfully escapes from the zombie he’s created by dancing on the walls and ceiling of a room.


beat-the-devil-stillBeat the Devil (John Huston, 1953)

New title: Beat the Devil and the Zombies

Synopsis: It’s been called the first camp movie, but unfortunately it wasn’t the first camp zombie movie. That all changes now with newly added scenes in which Humphrey Bogart and a great ensemble of character actors, including Peter Lorre, must fight off zombies while killing time at an Italian port. It’s very likely that Huston and co-screenwriter Truman Capote would have no problem with this additional subplot. Anyone familiar with the background of the film knows its makers didn’t take it seriously in the least. Actually, let’s just go ahead and add zombies into every section of the film. Zombies on the boat, zombies in Africa, zombies everywhere. Heck, make Bogie a zombie due to a lack of money. After all, as his character sets it up with the line, “I’ve got to have money. Doctor’s orders are that I must have a lot of money, otherwise I become dull, listless and have trouble with my complexion.”


wonderful-life-stillIt’s a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946)

New title: It’s a Zombie Life

Synopsis: On Christmas Eve, George Bailey wishes he were a zombie. But before he can find another zombie to bite him, an angel comes down from Heaven and shows him what his life would be like if he were undead. Zombie George infects the whole town of Bedford Falls, all except the wealthy Mr. Potter, who manages to take over the town by enslaving and exploiting the zombified citizens. In the end, George realizes that he’s better off simply shooting himself in the head so that he can’t possibly become a zombie. (Note: It’s a Wonderful Life is actually no longer in the public domain, but we just couldn’t not include it).

The 2009 Oscar Nominations

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

The 81st Annual Academy Award nominations have been announced with a few surprises and some glaring omissions.

oscars-2009‘Best Film’ played it safe – though four (Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, Slumdog) were pretty much locked, that fifth slot many were hoping the Academy would go for something acclaimed but more risky or mainstream than they usually go for like “The Wrestler” “Revolutionary Road” or “The Dark Knight”. Instead they opted for the little seen but very Academy-friendly Weinstein-produced vehicle “The Reader”.

In fact that trio of films (Wrestler, Road, Knight) were awkwardly missing in some other key areas like director and screenplay, though all got acting noms and ‘Knight’ in particular scored a lot of technical nods.

In sheer number of nominations “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” lead the way with thirteen; followed by “Slumdog Millionaire” with ten; “The Dark Knight” and “Milk” with eight; “Wall-E” with six; “Frost/Nixon”, “Doubt” and “The Reader” with five.

Notable omissions and strangeness – “Gran Torino” “Che” “I’ve Loved You So Long” not getting any major nominations. “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” only scoring a nom for Cruz, “Happy-Go-Lucky” scoring a best script but not a best actress nomination, “In Bruges” only getting a screenplay nom, and “Gomorra” missing out on Best Foreign Language Film.

One very welcome surprise was Michael Shannon, the actor who has essentially been ignored by most of the other critics and guilds getting a nomination for his brilliant supporting turn in “Revolutionary Road”

Here’s the complete list:

BEST PICTURE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Richard Jenkins (”The Visitor”)
Frank Langella (”Frost/Nixon”)
Sean Penn (”Milk”)
Brad Pitt (”The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”)
Mickey Rourke (”The Wrestler”)

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Anne Hathaway (”Rachel Getting Married”)
Angelina Jolie (”Changeling”)
Melissa Leo (”Frozen River”)
Meryl Streep (”Doubt”)
Kate Winslet (”The Reader”)

DIRECTING
David Fincher (”The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”)
Ron Howard (”Frost/Nixon”)
Gus Van Sant (”Milk”)
Stephen Daldry (”The Reader”)
Danny Boyle (”Slumdog Millionaire)

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Josh Brolin (”Milk”)
Robert Downey Jr. (”Tropic Thunder”)
Philip Seymour Hoffman (”Doubt”)
Heath Ledger (”The Dark Knight”)
Michael Shannon (”Revolutionary Road”)

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Amy Adams (”Doubt”)
Penelope Cruz (”Vicky Cristina Barcelona”)
Viola Davis (”Doubt”)
Taraji P. Henson (”The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”)
Marisa Tomei (”The Wrestler”)

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
The Baader Meinhoff Complex
Class
Departures
Revanche
Waltz With Bashir

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
“Bolt”
“Kung Fu Panda”
“Wall-E”

SCREENPLAY (Adapted)
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
“Doubt”
“Frost/Nixon”
“The Reader”
“Slumdog Millionaire””

SCREENPLAY (Original)
“Frozen River”
“Happy-Go-Lucky”
“In Bruges”
“Milk”
“Wall-E”

ART DIRECTION
“Changeling”
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
“The Dark Knight”
“The Duchess”
“Revolutionary Road”

CINEMATOGRAPHY
“Changeling”
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
“The Dark Knight”
“The Reader”
“Slumdog Millionaire”

COSTUME DESIGN
“Australia”
”The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
”The Duchess”
”Milk”
”Revolutionary Road”

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
“The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)”
”Encounters at the End of the World”
”The Garden”
”Man on Wire”
”Trouble the Water”

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
“The Conscience of Nhem En”
”The Final Inch”
”Smile Pinki
”The Witness — From the Balcony of Room 306?

FILM EDITING
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
“The Dark Knight”
“Frost/Nixon”
“Milk”
“Slumdog Millionaire”

MAKEUP
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
”The Dark Knight”
”Hellboy II: The Golden Army”

MUSIC (SCORE)
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” Alexandre Desplat
“Defiance” James Newton Howard
“Milk” Danny Elfman
“Slumdog Millionaire” A.R. Rahman
“WALL-E” Thomas Newman”

MUSIC (SONG)
“Down to Earth” from “WALL-E”
“Jai Ho” from “Slumdog Millionaire”
“O Saya” from “Slumdog Millionaire”

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
“La Maison en Petits Cubes”
”Lavatory — Lovestory”
”Oktapodi”
”Presto”
”This Way Up”

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
“Auf der Strecke (On the Line)”
”Manon on the Asphalt”
”New Boy”
”The Pig”
”Spielzeugland (Toyland)”

SOUND EDITING
“The Dark Knight”
“Iron Man”
“Slumdog Millionaire”
“WALL-E”
“Wanted”

SOUND MIXING
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
“The Dark Knight”
“Slumdog Millionaire”
“‘WALL-E”
“Wanted”

VISUAL EFFECTS
“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
The Dark Knight”
“Iron Man”

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